BLM - A Wife and Mother's Hope

As a wife, as a mother, as a family member, as a friend and as a human being, it has been very hard for me to see and live with what we are going through. The abuse from police officers, the inhumanity and attacks on non-whites.

No Babe We Are Not Okay As A Country

I have discussed with my husband about the US being the greatest country in the world multiple times; I live here; I respect the country; I thank God for being here. I have a wonderful husband and children, work, food and shelter, but I do not agree that it is the greatest country in the world. In defending this country he often gets upset, but how can he say it is the greatest nation in the world when white people continue to kill his people. The police do it daily and nobody does anything about it. When there are so many African American in prisons unjustly, when racism is everywhere, when you have to educate your children to be careful of the police, to live in fear that your children will not return home alive just because of the color of their skin. Why??

In the last few months I have felt anger, hatred, disappointment, worry and so much more that I can’t even explain. How can someone die at the hands of the police unfairly, when they supposedly have to protect you? The video of George Floyd’s death made me feel anger and much more about the police and people who defend or are okay with police brutality. Floyd did not resist at all, he cooperated, George Floyd called his dead mother for help, witnesses begged the police officer to stop, but a man died for us all to see.

I have never seen my husband or daughter so upset, sad and crying as when this happened. To think it could have been him, or one of my children, his brother, cousin, etc. It doesn’t matter, this should have never happened.

It is stressful and frustrating to be a wife and mother of a black person. I am constantly praying my husband doesn’t get pulled over by the police, and if it happens, hoping he doesn’t get killed.

I had to go out of town for an entire day and was afraid to leave my husband home alone; I begged him not to go out for anything. I remember leaving everything ready for him, his lunch, dinner, drinks, snacks and beer, I just did not want him out of the house. He was very upset with everything going on, that I was afraid he would do something stupid if somebody made a smart comment or get stop by the police on the way to the store. I called him and texted him a few times just to make sure he was okay. I have to worry about the safety of not just my husband, but my children.

Extra Stress And Actions A Mother

My daughter is almost 17 but does not want to get her driver’s license until she is 18. I wasn’t happy with this decision, but I can’t make her do it when she does not feel safe at all. But [non-whites] have to plan. For me my plan is to take my daughter to my local police department to introduce her to them and let them know what she would be driving soon and the car she had, let them know that she is a good girl, great student, to please make sure they don’t kill her (sounds crazy right? dramatic maybe, pathetic, paranoid) yes maybe, but that is how I feel. She is a teenager wearing hoodies all the time, why do I have to be worry, scare that she can be the next victim just for what she is wearing, I had so many arguments with her because of this; I asked her all the time not to wear them; she thought it was not fair. And yes I know it is not, but it is the reality we are living in.

Most of my sons’ friends are African Americans; great kids, from high school and now as professionals, with great careers ahead of them (working in some of the best companies in the country now). They enjoyed their time in school like any other kid in college, spring break trips, parties, concerts, or just being home having some drinks. But we often worried about the issues black kids faced. I used to always be afraid of something going wrong. My sons were aware of my fear and thank God always called me to let me know they were okay. I remember telling my Hispanic kids that if something goes wrong to hide or run away because they would get killed before they had the chance to talk. So again I keep asking myself, why do I have to feel this way?

I can’t even imagine the pain mothers, wife, kids, sisters, brothers of victims go through in this situation, I always pray for them and ask God not to go through something like this.

I hope the Black Life Matters movement makes a difference and things change, but we can start by making changes at home. If you are white and have black friends talk to them about it, educate yourself about this issue, or other way.